Five Steps Toward Intentional & Purposeful Living

As we move from chapter to chapter, stage to stage, or room to room in our lives there will be times when moving to the next “right thing” in our journey seems to take a lot of effort or we find ourselves stalled out.  These are threshold moments.  The shift from having a child at home into an empty nest is one of those moments.

1. Begin with Presence, Not Pressure

Many people feel they must immediately “fix” their lives once the nest empties. I encourage starting instead with presence—slowing down long enough to notice what you’re feeling, grieving, or longing for. Change rooted in awareness is far more sustainable than change driven by urgency or comparison. 

In this regard, one gentle practice I often recommend is what I call the “Threshold Pause”:  The empty nest can feel like standing in a doorway between who you were, and who you are becoming. Instead of rushing to define the next chapter of your life, I invite women to intentionally pause there with simple practices of presence.  Here are some ideas:

Find a quiet space — perhaps by a window, on a porch, or during a short walk.

Place one hand on your heart and one on your abdomen.

Close your eyes and take five slow breaths.

Then gently ask yourself:

•            What feels complete in my life right now?

•            What feels ready to begin?

•            What part of me is asking for attention?

There is nothing to fix. Just notice your thoughts and feelings arising from your felt sense of being. This practice builds self-awareness without pressure. Change becomes less about reinvention, and more about conscious evolution.

Next, ask yourself:

“Who am I becoming, now that I have more space?”

Often the answer is softer and wiser than we expect.

2. Reconnect with Self-Care as a Daily Practice, Not a Luxury

Self-nurturing is often the first thing to disappear during years of caregiving. I guide clients to reclaim small, repeatable rituals—movement, quiet reflection, creativity, or rest— which are intended to give us time to connect to our hearts and purpose and to restore energy and self-trust.

Rituals create structure for transformation. They tell the nervous system: You are safe. You are supported. You matter.

Here are a few (delete “few” and add “a couple of”) gentle rituals I recommend:

Morning Intention Ritual 

Before checking a phone or email, sit quietly with tea or coffee and ask yourself:

·       How do I want to feel today?

·       What quality do I want to embody?

Choose one word — such as calm, courage, openness, compassion — and let it guide your actions.

Weekly “Meaning Walk “

Once a week, take a 20-minute walk without distractions.

Reflect on:

·       Where did I feel most alive this week?

·       What conversations energized me?

·       What drained me?

This practice reconnects women to what truly nourishes them and assists them in aligning to their true heart and soul.

Connecting to who we are are rather to what we do may be the most difficult first step into an empty nest. 

3. Further Clarify For Yourself What This Season Of Life Is For

The empty nest isn’t an ending—it’s a threshold to cross over into a new beginning. I help clients explore purpose in this new chapter by asking simple but powerful questions: What matters now to me? What am I being invited to grow into? Purpose doesn’t need to be grand; it needs to be honest.

“Clarity Ritual” for Purpose

Light a candle once a month and reflect:

·       If I trusted myself completely, what would I explore next?

·       What small experiment or new thing could I try this month?

Purpose does not require a five-year plan. It begins with curiosity.

4. Set Intentions Instead of Resolutions

Rather than rigid goals, I guide people in intention setting—choosing how you want to live and feel on a daily basis. How do you want to be?   Intentions create flexibility, self-compassion, and momentum, especially for those who feel “stuck” or overwhelmed by traditional goal-setting.  Wherever our attention goes, there go our intentions.  So, what if we set our intentions first, instead of our actions creating our intentions?

Identifying intentions begins with awareness of how we want to feel — not what we want to accomplish.

Many women move quickly into goals. But intention is deeper than productivity.

Here’s a simple three-step approach:

Step 1: Notice Your Energy

Ask:

•            When do I feel most aligned?

•            When do I feel depleted?

Patterns reveal what matters for you.

Step 2: Name the Quality You Want to Cultivate

Instead of “I want to lose 10 pounds,” the intention might be:

•            I intend to honor my body.

•            I intend to move with vitality.

•            I intend to treat myself with respect.

The action follows the intention.

Step 3: Keep It Gentle and Present-Tense

Intentions are not pressure.

They are orientation.

A few examples:

•            I intend to listen deeply.

•            I intend to act with love and clarity.

•            I intend to approach this season with curiosity.

•            I intend to nurture my own growth as faithfully as I nurtured others.

When intention leads, meaningful action naturally unfolds naturally.(remove "naturally" at end)

5. Befriend the Shadow, Don’t Fear It

Life transitions often surface hidden fears, grief, or old stories about worth and identity. In my work, we gently explore these “shadow” aspects—not to “fix” them, but to understand and integrate them. When we stop resisting these parts, energy and clarity return. We are not one-sided beings; we are both sides.

Shadow Integration Ritual

When difficult feelings surface instead of suppressing these emotions, I suggest writing them down without judgment.

Then ask:

·       What is this emotion trying to teach me?

·       What unmet need might be underneath it?

When we turn toward our discomfort gently, it becomes insight.

The empty nest is not an ending. It is an invitation — to live more intentionally, more compassionately, and more fully aligned with who you are now.

Small rituals, gentle awareness, and honest reflection create profound change over time.